More text messages, this time on the Sanlu (三鹿集团) scandal. I am not sure if the link will work. It presently doesn’t work in Shenzhen, but may still function elsewhere. The New Zealand dairy company Fonterra owns 43% of Sanlu. (A brief reminder: Sanlu added melamine, an industrial additive to powdered milk formula. Melamine causes kidney stones in children. According to a NY Times report, three babies have died and over 53,000 have been hospitalized due to complications caused by consuming contaminated milk powder.)
In the follow translations, the Chinese comes first and the English second. Black humor indeed.
河南省委书记发来贺电：热烈祝贺河北三鹿给河北人民带来骗子金牌，从此河南人民的骗子称号将拱手相让。
Congratulatory telegram from the Henan Province Party Secretary: Warm congratulations to Sanlu for bringing home to Hebei the gold medal in swindling, from now on the people of Henan yield their title as the People’s swindlers. (note: Henan people are considered the worst swindlers in China.)
安慰省委书记发来贺电：热烈祝贺河北制作毒奶粉，肾结石可比大头娃娃厉害，安慰人民甘败下风。
Congratulatory telegram from the Anhui Province Party Secretary: Warm congratulations to Hebei for producing poisoned milk powder, kidney stones are definitely more lethal than “big headed babies”. The people of Anhui happily concede to Hebei. (note: In March this year, the Fuyang People’s Hospital admitted babies with large, droopy cheeks. Some of these babies weighed less than when they were born. At the time, it was estimated that at least eight babies had died and over seventy babies had been contaminated by fake milk powder, which had been sold at Fuyang wet markets. News reports suggested that many children were not drinking healthy, mother’s milk. Instead, grandparents took care of these children because their mothers were migrant workers. This analysis is worrisome for several reasons: (1) it points to class-based health risks; (2) blames mothers for working when they “should” be at home; (3) exculpates the swindlers by blaming caretakers for not being able to distinguish between fake and real products; and (4) lets the provincial Ministry of Health off the hook for clear regulatory lapses. Anhui officials should thank God for Sanlu. And for the poverty that compels mothers to become migrant workers even before their children are weaned.)
山西省委书记发来贺电：非常感谢河北三鹿，转移了新闻热点，否则，我们的溃堤事故就要由省委书记来辞职了，现在只省长辞职了。谢谢啊。
Congratulatory telegram from the Shanxi Province Party Secretary: Sincere thanks to Sanlu for redirecting media attention, otherwise, our Party Secretary would have had to resign because of the mud slide. Now, only the Governor has to resign. Thank you. (note: On September 8, a mud slide in Xiangfen County, Shanxi buried Yunhe Village. See EastSouthWestNorth for story.)
证监会主席发来贺电：非常谢谢河北三鹿，周二开盘如果再跌，就是由于三鹿引起的中国经济信任危机，不再是我们证监会无能了，非常感谢河北三鹿转移新闻热点，股民的心疼，没有患儿父母的心疼。
Congratulatory telegram from the Chair of the Stock Regulatory Board: Many thanks to Sanlu. If the market continues to open lower on Tuesday, it will be because Sanlu has caused a crisis in economic trust, and not because we are incompetent. Also, thanks for redirecting media attention. Stockholders’ pain holds nothing on the pain of parents’ concern for their children.
伊利蒙牛等各企业发来密电：老田阿，咋整滴？不是说好了少加点吗，怎吗加那吗多呀，看错秤啦？好心情每天！
Yili and Mongolian Cow sent secret telegrams: Old Tian, how . Didn’t we agree to add just a little? How could you add that much? Did you misread the scale? Keep your spirits up! (note: not unexpectedly Melamine has been found in other milk products, including candy bars, and in other brands.)
中国人在食品中完成了化学扫盲，从大米里我们认识了石腊，从火腿里我们认识了敌敌畏，从咸鸭蛋辣椒奖励我们认识了苏丹红，从火过里我们认识了福尔马林，从银耳蜜枣里我们认识了硫磺，从木耳中认识了硫酸铜，今天三鹿又让同胞之道了三聚氰胺的化学作用。
Chinese people have learned about chemistry through food products: from corn we learned about paraffin; from ham we learned about panaplate; from jujubes we learned about sulphur; and from tree fungus, we learned about bluestone. Today, Sanlu taught us the chemical uses of melamine. (note: In May this year, corn was coated with paraffin to make it shiny and more appetizing in Sansui, Guangdong; Panaplate is apparently a trade name for Dichlorvos (2,2-dichlorovinyl dimethyl phosphate), or DDVP, a highly volatile organophosphate, widely used as a fumigant to control household, public health, and stored product insects [definition from: China Environmental Law], although I’m not sure how it got into ham; sulphur has provided longer shelf lives to honey-processed jujubes; bluestone is the trade name of copper sulphate, a fungicide used to control bacterial and fungal diseases of fruit, vegetable, nut, and field crops. For a full list of the very scary toxilogical effects visit the Extension Toxicology Network. We know what melamine does.)
And some puns:
外国人和牛奶结实了，中国人和喝奶结石了。
Foreigners drink milk and become strong, Chinese people drink milk and get kidney stones.
日本人口号：一天一杯牛奶振兴一个民族；中国人的口号：一天一杯牛奶，震惊一个民族。
Japenese slogan: a glass of milk a day strengthens the nation; Chinese slogan: a glass of milk a day shocks a nation.
In the follow translations, the Chinese comes first and the English second. Black humor indeed.
河南省委书记发来贺电：热烈祝贺河北三鹿给河北人民带来骗子金牌，从此河南人民的骗子称号将拱手相让。
Congratulatory telegram from the Henan Province Party Secretary: Warm congratulations to Sanlu for bringing home to Hebei the gold medal in swindling, from now on the people of Henan yield their title as the People’s swindlers. (note: Henan people are considered the worst swindlers in China.)
安慰省委书记发来贺电：热烈祝贺河北制作毒奶粉，肾结石可比大头娃娃厉害，安慰人民甘败下风。
Congratulatory telegram from the Anhui Province Party Secretary: Warm congratulations to Hebei for producing poisoned milk powder, kidney stones are definitely more lethal than “big headed babies”. The people of Anhui happily concede to Hebei. (note: In March this year, the Fuyang People’s Hospital admitted babies with large, droopy cheeks. Some of these babies weighed less than when they were born. At the time, it was estimated that at least eight babies had died and over seventy babies had been contaminated by fake milk powder, which had been sold at Fuyang wet markets. News reports suggested that many children were not drinking healthy, mother’s milk. Instead, grandparents took care of these children because their mothers were migrant workers. This analysis is worrisome for several reasons: (1) it points to class-based health risks; (2) blames mothers for working when they “should” be at home; (3) exculpates the swindlers by blaming caretakers for not being able to distinguish between fake and real products; and (4) lets the provincial Ministry of Health off the hook for clear regulatory lapses. Anhui officials should thank God for Sanlu. And for the poverty that compels mothers to become migrant workers even before their children are weaned.)
山西省委书记发来贺电：非常感谢河北三鹿，转移了新闻热点，否则，我们的溃堤事故就要由省委书记来辞职了，现在只省长辞职了。谢谢啊。
Congratulatory telegram from the Shanxi Province Party Secretary: Sincere thanks to Sanlu for redirecting media attention, otherwise, our Party Secretary would have had to resign because of the mud slide. Now, only the Governor has to resign. Thank you. (note: On September 8, a mud slide in Xiangfen County, Shanxi buried Yunhe Village. See EastSouthWestNorth for story.)
证监会主席发来贺电：非常谢谢河北三鹿，周二开盘如果再跌，就是由于三鹿引起的中国经济信任危机，不再是我们证监会无能了，非常感谢河北三鹿转移新闻热点，股民的心疼，没有患儿父母的心疼。
Congratulatory telegram from the Chair of the Stock Regulatory Board: Many thanks to Sanlu. If the market continues to open lower on Tuesday, it will be because Sanlu has caused a crisis in economic trust, and not because we are incompetent. Also, thanks for redirecting media attention. Stockholders’ pain holds nothing on the pain of parents’ concern for their children.
伊利蒙牛等各企业发来密电：老田阿，咋整滴？不是说好了少加点吗，怎吗加那吗多呀，看错秤啦？好心情每天！
Yili and Mongolian Cow sent secret telegrams: Old Tian, how . Didn’t we agree to add just a little? How could you add that much? Did you misread the scale? Keep your spirits up! (note: not unexpectedly Melamine has been found in other milk products, including candy bars, and in other brands.)
中国人在食品中完成了化学扫盲，从大米里我们认识了石腊，从火腿里我们认识了敌敌畏，从咸鸭蛋辣椒奖励我们认识了苏丹红，从火过里我们认识了福尔马林，从银耳蜜枣里我们认识了硫磺，从木耳中认识了硫酸铜，今天三鹿又让同胞之道了三聚氰胺的化学作用。
Chinese people have learned about chemistry through food products: from corn we learned about paraffin; from ham we learned about panaplate; from jujubes we learned about sulphur; and from tree fungus, we learned about bluestone. Today, Sanlu taught us the chemical uses of melamine. (note: In May this year, corn was coated with paraffin to make it shiny and more appetizing in Sansui, Guangdong; Panaplate is apparently a trade name for Dichlorvos (2,2-dichlorovinyl dimethyl phosphate), or DDVP, a highly volatile organophosphate, widely used as a fumigant to control household, public health, and stored product insects [definition from: China Environmental Law], although I’m not sure how it got into ham; sulphur has provided longer shelf lives to honey-processed jujubes; bluestone is the trade name of copper sulphate, a fungicide used to control bacterial and fungal diseases of fruit, vegetable, nut, and field crops. For a full list of the very scary toxilogical effects visit the Extension Toxicology Network. We know what melamine does.)
And some puns:
外国人和牛奶结实了，中国人和喝奶结石了。
Foreigners drink milk and become strong, Chinese people drink milk and get kidney stones.
日本人口号：一天一杯牛奶振兴一个民族；中国人的口号：一天一杯牛奶，震惊一个民族。
Japenese slogan: a glass of milk a day strengthens the nation; Chinese slogan: a glass of milk a day shocks a nation.